About MJM Ministry
As I was walking on my journey of transitioning to being male, I owed it to myself to stop and reflect. Was this path taking me to the destination I believed it was going to when I first started my journey?
Many parents can recall the moment when their child came forward to share the life-changing decision to transition. For years, their child may have struggled with feelings of being born the wrong gender, and in a brief moment, shared the plan to bring comfort and alignment to their life. Regardless of whether this announcement was expected or a surprise, parents often find themselves in need of support from others who have shared similar experiences.
I still remember the day I walked into my parents’ living room to announce that I was going to change my gender. My thoughts had been consumed for years with being born the wrong gender. In under three minutes I announced my plan to remedy my discomfort to them. Whether you saw this announcement coming or not, you still need the comfort of being with like-minded individuals. MJM Ministry has parent support groups that will welcome you with open arms.
About Mary
There was a twinkle in Mom’s eye that made you wonder what secret she knew that you didn’t. Of course, I think that twinkle did not appear until after I left home! She was well-versed in all genres of music except country. That was all Dad’s. She could read a book, watch a movie, and listen to a basketball game on the radio and tell you everything happening in all three. Her love for the game of bridge was well-known by all her friends. Unfortunately, none of her kids picked up the ability to play.
Mom and I did not see eye to eye on anything when I was young. I found out in later years that she took on several of my teachers. How I wish I had known that we could have communicated directly. Had I known that she believed in me would have meant so much to me. Instead, we fought over everything, especially how I dressed. This led to incessant bullying during my school days. The inability to communicate led to a rebellion that also led to a mindset that made it easy to walk away when I felt that ultimate support was not there in my young adult years.
I was given the ultimate gift with mom. I spent her final 10 days by her bedside. Our relationship was loving and as restored as one could hope for. Her mindset was that what is in the past is done. We never talked about my transgender years and the pain I am certain I caused her. We never discussed my childhood and the pain her decisions caused me. What was done was done. The choices we both made sculpted us and brought us to where we were. I loved her and she loved me. That was all that mattered.
About John
Once you met John Miller, you instantly liked him. He was a straight shooter. You knew where you stood with him. If you couldn’t handle the truth, you probably didn’t see him a second time. He was born during the Depression and knew he was going to have to work hard to get ahead in life. He started hauling coal for Quaker Oats as soon as he could drive. He served in the Korean War. He never talked to me about his time there, but I often wonder if he didn’t find a deeper walk with God that he couldn’t communicate with his family. Dad and I didn’t have a great relationship when I was young. It was hard for me to accept that he loved me when I was a young adult. Walking away from having a relationship with him was not a difficult decision. I felt that I was a disappointment to him anyway. And that it was certainly a relief that he didn’t have to deal with me.
My final visit with Dad was two months before he passed away. I gripped his hand tightly and kissed his cheek. I had high hopes I would see him one more time. I was not given that opportunity. It is hard to fathom how a man that I could not stand to be in the same room with as a child is the same person that I longed to see one last time. Interesting how time changes us. If we allow it to.
